"When the Lights Come on in a Sleepy Little Town"
This isn't exactly country music medicine but as good of a place as any to share my story and feelings on a matter that half the population is intently discussing these last several months and the other half is still too self concious, embarrassed or guilty to talk about.
First off, I've seen people cry sexual assult and there are even some well known cases that I question. Because I've known of innocent men destroyed by false or extremely misled accusations.
Have I been a victim of sexual harassment? Yes. Unfortunalty there aren’t many women, or men either, that can say they haven't been in one way or the other. An unwanted touch while dancing, lewd comments ect. Are far too common and I've been lucky enough to shut them all down quickly and was all the wiser never being scared for life.
Depressing I just used the word lucky about being sexually harrased.
Recently, an incident came into light that happened at a local drinking establishment a few blocks from my house that occured with the owner. I'll not name names or anything of the like because it didn't happen to me and I wasn't a first-hand witness. At least not to this particular incident.
I have known the owner over 6 years now. Something to be said is, I'm from a very small town where drinking is common, even as minors if it's done safely most turn their heads. Therefore, I was frequently in this bar my first semester of college at age 18. Not a big drinker until I was nearing 22, I still had 1 or 2 while there.
Why? Because for the most part we were never carded and no one asked questions, despite having friends already 22 at 18 it was pretty vastly known that I was under age and no one asked so I didn't offer.
When you’re 18 and start going to bars you are unaware of how people act under the influence of alcohol, especially much older people and even if something is out of sorts you turn a blind eye. Your 18, you don't need the trouble.
Personally, I have had few issues with the owner. A few unwanted coped gropes that were easily shut down and felt uneasy at times yes, but he's not alone in that category. But I've seen first hand on several occasions.
The constant nagging at girls to flash him. The threat to turn them in for underage drinking once they left although he was the one serving the hoard of 20 plus minors. Because hey, the fines risk were probably worth the bottom dollar from the cash cow of being an extremely popular bar.
Have I seen him rip girls dresses up, yup I've seen that too. And seen him damn near be pounded for it. Don't give and a damn who you are that shits not right.
I've heard of worse but those aren't my stories to share. It's common knowledge this man is a very handsy perv when he's drinking.
This man is also a long time friend of my husbands family, he's also considered an upstanding citizen of our community. He's also a husband and a father.
I don't often feel for spouses who are in situations like this especially when it's basic common knowledge. Is she in pain and embaressed as it recently became a HUGE social media ordeal in our home town? I can almost guarantee it. Do I feel for their children? They didn't ask for it, they didn't choose to stay. Yes, my heart breaks for them as much as it does for the victims. But I don't believe those victims should have to stop telling their story, to remove facebook posts or anything of the sort. It's their story, they have a right to share it.
Will anything come of their stories being shared? Not likely. Not in towns like this, not yet. We still have work to do until it all stops. Until victims aren't shamed and victims aren't created for fame or to be used as a weapon.
First off, I've seen people cry sexual assult and there are even some well known cases that I question. Because I've known of innocent men destroyed by false or extremely misled accusations.
Have I been a victim of sexual harassment? Yes. Unfortunalty there aren’t many women, or men either, that can say they haven't been in one way or the other. An unwanted touch while dancing, lewd comments ect. Are far too common and I've been lucky enough to shut them all down quickly and was all the wiser never being scared for life.
Depressing I just used the word lucky about being sexually harrased.
Recently, an incident came into light that happened at a local drinking establishment a few blocks from my house that occured with the owner. I'll not name names or anything of the like because it didn't happen to me and I wasn't a first-hand witness. At least not to this particular incident.
I have known the owner over 6 years now. Something to be said is, I'm from a very small town where drinking is common, even as minors if it's done safely most turn their heads. Therefore, I was frequently in this bar my first semester of college at age 18. Not a big drinker until I was nearing 22, I still had 1 or 2 while there.
Why? Because for the most part we were never carded and no one asked questions, despite having friends already 22 at 18 it was pretty vastly known that I was under age and no one asked so I didn't offer.
When you’re 18 and start going to bars you are unaware of how people act under the influence of alcohol, especially much older people and even if something is out of sorts you turn a blind eye. Your 18, you don't need the trouble.
Personally, I have had few issues with the owner. A few unwanted coped gropes that were easily shut down and felt uneasy at times yes, but he's not alone in that category. But I've seen first hand on several occasions.
The constant nagging at girls to flash him. The threat to turn them in for underage drinking once they left although he was the one serving the hoard of 20 plus minors. Because hey, the fines risk were probably worth the bottom dollar from the cash cow of being an extremely popular bar.
Have I seen him rip girls dresses up, yup I've seen that too. And seen him damn near be pounded for it. Don't give and a damn who you are that shits not right.
I've heard of worse but those aren't my stories to share. It's common knowledge this man is a very handsy perv when he's drinking.
This man is also a long time friend of my husbands family, he's also considered an upstanding citizen of our community. He's also a husband and a father.
I don't often feel for spouses who are in situations like this especially when it's basic common knowledge. Is she in pain and embaressed as it recently became a HUGE social media ordeal in our home town? I can almost guarantee it. Do I feel for their children? They didn't ask for it, they didn't choose to stay. Yes, my heart breaks for them as much as it does for the victims. But I don't believe those victims should have to stop telling their story, to remove facebook posts or anything of the sort. It's their story, they have a right to share it.
Will anything come of their stories being shared? Not likely. Not in towns like this, not yet. We still have work to do until it all stops. Until victims aren't shamed and victims aren't created for fame or to be used as a weapon.
JT Hodges "Sleepy Little Town"
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